In my humble opinion, there are many things that motivate our decisions, but most of them can be narrowed down to 2 basic catalysts, Love and Fear. We already talked about how our decisions are based on the amount of "pleasure centers" in the brain we can stimulate. If you are living in fear, then you take great pleasure in doing things that alleviate that fear.
For people who tend to "live in fear" as I call it, many of their decisions have more to do with fear than love. Are you making love to your man because you fear he will leave you if you don't or because you love him? A man can tell the difference. Men, are you getting her a nice Birthday present because you are afraid you will lose her or because you love her and nothing brings you greater joy than the smile on her face? She can tell the difference.
This isn't to say that every decision is purely one or the other. Many times it's a combination of the two, but which one do you tend to lean towards? When you discipline your children is it out of fear of what they might become, or love? One usually causes angry outbursts and visual frustration, while the other causes a calmer voice of reason. This is one I struggle with having an autistic some I desperately want to learn to live in our society. Sometimes this causes angry outbursts followed by guilt that I'm a terrible father.
Many times fear of our own safety or financial situation causes us to not help others as much as we could, or not volunteer as much. I think many Americans have a fear they will run out of energy or mental capacity if they try to do too much.
I believe God wants you to put your fears aside and learn to be motivated by love. That's why he asks us to lay our burdens on his shoulders. That's why he says perfect love drives out fear. What is perfect love? We all know no human has it. So therefore he is talking about himself. God drives out fear. I realize the Bible says that fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but that simply means that realizing what God is capable and your place in the world only goes to show you how much his love and grace really mean to us. He could destroy us all with very little effort on his part yet, he chose to sacrifice his only son to save us. So in the end, that initial fear leads to greater love and understanding of who God is.
The general equation preached in most churches and I think rightfully so is to drive out fear you must put your hope and trust in God, and not in the world. And I would say not just in this life but in the next as well. I don't think God makes many promises for this world. As a matter of fact most of his promises for this world are that you will be persecuted and will suffer. His promises for this world are the fruits of the spirit. Things like Love, Faith, and Hope. Those are considered more valuable than the things of this world that are here today and gone tomorrow. I'll probably go into more detail about this subject in my chapter on Karma and all of the ways it's misinterpreted and misconstrued.
For now, the important thing is to make your decisions based on love. The only way to do this is by giving up your fears. Laying them before the Lord, only to replace them with Hope and Faith in a brighter future.
One way I like to do this is by playing a little game called "And then what?" The way it works is simple. Think about your fear. Are you afraid your business will fail. What would happen if your business failed? Would you have to get a real job? And then what? Maybe you have to file for Bankruptcy? And then what? You won't be able to get a loan? And then what? If you dig down to the bottom line, it really never is as bad as your fears make it out to be. Trust me, My business failed, and while it wasn't fun and made things difficult, I'm still here and if it weren't for a lot of other problems it wouldn't really have been all that bad.
So I have to rent my house now. At least when the AC breaks I just call up the landlord and let him fix it. And now I have to save up the money to pay for things. I can't use credit. That's probably more of a positive than a negative. My world didn't end. I didn't end up on the streets. My character has been built up, and my ability to empathise with others going through tough times. Most things in life we fear have similar results. And knowing God's promises for the afterlife, the only thing we really need to fear are well, you know the old saying...
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